Brock Turner, the reason women don’t talk….

This kid and his father are the reasons that most women won’t speak up. Brock’s father  is vilifying his son and making him the victim, he his making it seem as though what he did was justifiable, which is untrue as we all know. The judge also plays a big part in all of this too. When does the victim’s voice get to be heard.

Reading the father of the rapists letter sickened me. He said ‘why should he pay a lifetime in prison for 20 min of action’? What if the tables were turned what if it was is daughter what if she was raped, 20 minutes of action, by a fellow students on campus, this would have gone very differently.

What is wrong with today’s culture that there are still so many people that tare rape and incest so lightly. It disgusts me. These are very traumatic events, sometimes even leading to PTSD, suicidal thoughts or worse suicide itself. But still people just don’t get it.

There are groups out there that believe that if a woman didn’t dress, look or smell a certain way then it wouldn’t happen to her. Well it happened to me both incest and rape and I did none of the above. Anyways it doesn’t matter there’s no excuse.

My rapists got away with his crime because he had family members who were cops. My brother got away with it because no one believed(s) me. This happens every day and it needs to end.

I want to encourage you to stand up and speak out for yourself. Stay strong. These monsters need to be stopped,you must be strong and speak up. You can do it. You Are Strong Enough.

Let’s stop the Brock’s of the world and their dads.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Give Her A Voice

I read a poem today that really stood out to me. So many women are stuck in a situation where they feel uncomfortable, unsafe and unloved. Battered women, women who are physically, sexually, and emotionally abused find it difficult to leave. Whether they are dating, married, the daughter, sister; it doesn’t matter, its not easy to get away. Some situations make it harder, but everyone is equally traumatizing and wrong. I was in one my whole life and could not get out, but used to pray constantly for a way out. I used to dream about running away or sad to say it, being kidnapped (how tragic and wrong, I think back now and I’m glad I wasn’t). I am glad that I didn’t run away and that I wasn’t kidnapped, because I believe my life was to go the way it went so that I could be here at this moment writing this blog, encouraging others through my journey of abuse and rape. I would not have taught preschool and met my lifelong friend. I would not have met my husband or had my two beautiful girls. Yes, I suppose I could have gone on another journey but I don’t think I would have wanted it that way. I actually, like to share my story, although at times its more difficult than others, I know its helpful to many(and healing for me).  So, why do we stay? I’m not sure and I don’t even think we are even sure ourselves. I think that we’re afraid to leave, afraid that if we leave we’ll be followed, afraid that if we leave we will not find anyone else to love us because well, if we were abused we must not have been worthy enough (which is NOT true) the one who abused is not worthy. Everyone has a right to a decent loving relationship; one that is beautiful, caring, fair, and appropriate. If you know someone in such a situation, show them love, show them you truly care, and try to help them leave. There are many resources out there. It’s not easy to leave but it’s possible. I was blessed enough to have a grandmother to help me move out on my own, to get away. I was quite independent. But the key to helping is love, time, patience and a good ear to listen. Help her get her voice back too. Help her to Talk and Be Heard. #TalkBeHeard

 

 

Here is the poem:

I Got Flowers Today
(Dedicated to Battered Women)

angel

I got flowers today!
It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night;
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today.
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn’t believe that it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed unreal, a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares;
And I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over—but I know he is sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Valentines Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldn’t go to work today because I didn’t want anyone to know—but I know
he’s sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about
money?
I’m afraid of him, but I’m too scared and dependent to leave him! But he
must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today….
Today was a special day—it was the day of my funeral;
Last night he killed me;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
I could have received help from the Women’s Shelter, but I didn’t ask for
their help;
So I got flowers today—for the last time.

By Paulette Kelly

ã Copyright 1992 Paulette Kelly
All Rights Reserved

A movie to empower women…

I obviously have not seen this movie yet as it is coming out soon, but it is a movie about healing. These are stories of heartache, sasadness, grief, torture, overcoming great obstacles, becoming a victim–becoming a heroess…. RAINN is a great organization that is helping young women(and men) who have faced sexual abuse/attacks, they help them through by showing them that they are more powerful than the assaulter YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO BE A VICTIM. Much like I’ve been saying.. Talk, Be Heard! You no longer need be silent. You are amazing, beautiful, and still usable; there’s something here for you to do, be a wonderful light in someone’s life. So stand tall, chin up and smile on! 😉 Here’s the link to the movie… https://rainn.org/news-room/February_2015_Hunting_Ground_Premiere

50 Shades of Love

50 Shades of Love

Instead of watching 50 shades of gray, try a few of these date ideas!

I want to empower women not make them feel belittled like that book/movie does. LOVE YOURSELF, RESPECT YOURSELF

How to really show your love for someone.
1. Give them a kiss
2. Hug them
3. Forgive them, even if you don’t agree
4. Give them the last piece of chocolate in the box.
5. Let them choose the first piece.
6. Say ‘I love you’ before they do
7. Hold their hand.
8. Stroke their hair (I love this)
9. Write them a little love note
10. Tell them you like them
11. Pray for them
12. Cuddle
13. Hug some more
14. Go for a walk
15. Share lunch with them…maybe even a milkshake
16. Go to the bookstore together and read/relax
17. Go to the movies (don’t see 50 shades of gray though)
18. Play a game
19. Go for a hike
20. Take a nap together
21. Go kayaking or canoeing
22. Go on a double date with friends
23. Get icecream…be daring and try a new flavor
24. Go window shopping
25. Go to BJ’s and have dinner, via tge samples
26. Rewrite your vows and send them to each other
27. Learn a new hobby together
28. Dance in the kitchen once a week if not more
29. Hug
30. Play cards
31. Play games with your kids
32. Remember to always kiss and hug in front of your kids show them you love each other
33. Look at travel magazines and plan a dream vacation
34. Go on a mini vacation
35. STAYCATION with the kids
36. Go to a play
37. Learn a language together
38. Watch a romantic comedy together
39. Cook together
40. Learn how to cook together
41. Go to a wine tasting
42. Walk the beach
43. Go to an art museum
44. Visit the aquarium
45. Call them and tell them your thinking about them
46. Leave a love note in their lunch
47. Whisper sweet nothings in their ear
48. Go for a ride to nowhere with the windows open and talk about nothing
49. Walk through the park
50. Make love to your true love because that’s how it’s supposed to be